What kind of person would we become without society to raise us?

Loud. Sometimes thats all that comes to mind. Not at first though. When I arrive I'm alight with the excitement of who's eye I might catch and how sophisticated I will look to observers. A few moments of accustomization to the environment and I notice the noise. Loud. It's not just the voices of the crowd but the deafening stereophonics called music coupled with inadequate acoustics. Without warning though, and without welcome, the sound swarms my mind and then I'm blank for a few moments until my brain comes to terms with the battle at hand. I'm here to converse and look good. Do that. I see the rest of my crew arrive. Good, temporary distractions to occupy my thoughts. The usual greetings ensue and now they too are attempting to acclimate to our surroundings. Yes all that noise, thats why we're here rather then elsewhere. All these sounds cannot simply be replicated elsewhere because they're not just sounds. They're the vibrations of a hive. It can not only be heard but felt and can persuade you to certain behaviours. This atmosphere is alive and breathing and we are it's drones. Longingly and willingly doing it's bidding. We all need to belong, why not to the collective?

Awareness

There is a difference of alarm between tonight and this morning.

Facing the fear of God

I had a dream once where like most dreams, you can't convey the same experience of what was felt, you had to have felt it with me. In the dream, I was lying in my bed sleeping as I was literally but my bed was suspended in space while the earth rapidly fell beneath me. I could still feel the earth's movement, it's shaking and quaking as it descended into oblivion. While that happened I saw God's face and it terrified me with a strange fear. Not the kind you feel with a phobia, like when I encounter a spider and am frozen in fear because I irrationally believe my life is in danger. This fear I had felt when I saw God, or what I believe was God, was closer to guilt. As if those parts of my life, things about me that I want to forget, things I wish I had never done or said, my embarrassing moments, as if all those things were exposed at once. Every memory I etched out of my mind was revived. That was the kind of fear I felt. God was watching me and I had nothing to give him, nothing to be proud of.

Regret

"I learned from my regrets, therefore I have no regrets."

This was the advice given to me by a close friend when confronted with my tears of shame from mistakes I had made that were irreversible and left me deeply wounded. But he was right. All those wrong decisions I made had given me the opportunity to grow and provided me with the life lessons I needed to become who I am today.

As we grow older and hopefully become wiser, these mistakes become less common but being human we inevitably continue to make them. Since those life-changing words were spoken to me, its amazing how different my attitude is now towards the feeling of guilt for behaving badly. So I screwed up, what did this teach me about myself? Knowing the end-result of my actions, how can I do things differently next time.

Think of math class back in school. You would get marks deducted for answers that you got wrong. This wasn't to tell you that you're a failure, this was to help you understand where you can improve in your understanding of the question. Life isn't any different and why should it be? Without knowing where our weaknesses lie, how can become stronger?

Godlike Monsters

It occurred to me while I was admiring the artwork of fictional monstrous creatures that whenever we depict something of unfathomable size and origin, they're always killing us. Us being humans. The monsters are always the bad guys running around eating and killing people, terrorizing the earth. But what if humans were the bad guys and the creatures are really just trying to bring the peace back. I mean we are the ones destroying the planet. These creatures could just be doing they're job of protecting Earth. After all, although we may be the most intelligent creatures, we're also by far the dumbest and cruelest. So why couldn't it be possible that perhaps the other creature is in fact smarter then us and is exterminating the pest?

Bumper Sticker

"Reality is people who lack imagination"...

...such are the words of a bumper sticker. Some might agree with this statement thinking realistic people can't have fun or enjoy life like the dreamers can. In their defense they might reply with: "Imagination is for people who can't accept reality". Of course, this is a debatable subject that could potentially never end...but who doesn't like a good debate?

The shedding of approval

I never liked the idea of laser hair removal for my legs because I like the contrast and feel of shaving my legs after letting it grow. Letting my leg hairs grow loose is when I'm hiding out in the woods being free and then I shave them for a day in town. Think of it like when a dog sheds it's fur in the change of seasons only this is a change in social status.